'Tis the Season

Ryan's blood counts are down and have been down for about a week but now we have a new wrinkle....fever. Mary Lee took Addie to the doctor yesterday and found that she had an ear infection. She came home with Addie and then noticed Ryan was chilling and had a fever so she turned around and took Ryan to Vandy and he was admitted. He'll probably stay in the hospital for several days to make sure whatever he has going on with the fever doesn't turn into anything worse. If we just added some clowns and maybe and elephant or two we would have all the parts together for our circus! Just call us the ringmasters!
It has been a tough few weeks. There was a little girl named Lexie that had gone through radiation and chemo at the same time as Ryan began his treatment. She finished her treatments a few months ago but her cancer returned very quickly and we found out that she just died. It hit us both like a ton of bricks. She wasn't too much older than Ryan and seemed to have been doing well. It was a stark reminder that we are truly in a life and death battle. I know that God loves Lexie just as much as he loves Ryan but it is difficult to understand why one child dies while another lives. I believe God can and does intervene in our lives and responds to our prayers so I continue to pray for Ryan's complete healing but a part of me feels guilty, thinking, "'Who am I that God would grant my request for Ryan's life but not the request of another parent who loved her daughter just as much?" I don't question God's supremacy and authority over my life and the lives of those in my family. I can only say that from a father's standpoint, sometimes His will is a tough pill to swallow. Keep up your prayers for Ryan to defeat cancer. Also keep Lexie's family in your prayers as I'm sure the next few months will be extremely heartbreaking to adjust to her no longer being with them.