Crazy week ......

Sorry for no details and no pictures yet - here's a few - I promise it is coming!! Last week was really crazy ..... poor Addie had some kind of parasite and was a sick little girl- I've been in poop up to my eyeballs :) - came very close to being admitted to the hospital for dehydration but thankfully we got her on the right meds and she is doing much, much better! Literally, after her first dose of medicine she was like a new girl by the next day ...... I sure wish they could come up with a drug like that for cancer!! I kept telling her if she would be a brave girl and take her medicine (plus let me put medicine on her blistered hiney!! - it was so pitiful) that after she got all better I would take her to the mall and let her do the bungee jump - she loves doing that - thankfully that bribe worked because fighting with her is amazingly difficult, she is very strong. So, on Sunday she told me "I not poop anymore - let's go mall!". I ended up taking both she and Ryan yesterday after school - it was so strange as I haven't been to the mall in what seems like forever. We had a great time and Granna met us there and spoiled them by taking them shopping at the Disney Store and at Game Stop. The additional crazy part of the week was that Rob's truck died on us ..... so we are looking for a new/used car ..... if you guys have one for sale or know of someone who does .... let us know. If not, then please pray that we find the right one ...... I keep saying, "God, it's Your money - so show us what car You want" ..... Rob laughed one time when I said it and said, "You know the vision that comes to mind is Jesus in sandals and Mary on a donkey" - he is such a nut! I was always a little worried his truck would go out on us during Ryan's treatment .... it didn't, kept on going ..... so , even though the timing is never great for your car to die on you .... the timing was much better than it could have been. Poor Ryan is heartbroken about this all - I mean he has shed many tears over his Daddy's truck being gone. Bless his heart, Rob always joked with him that when he turned 16 he could then have the truck, of course this truck has over 200,000 miles on it ..... he didn't quite understand it was a joke. He cried last night and again this morning saying he wanted to keep it forever. Funny boy - he and his Daddy were awfully cute though when they would take off together .... we always joked that for Ryan that truck might as well have been a BMW or a Mercedes.

This has also been one of those weeks where emotions are all over the place - I think I say that all the time now, but it just is that way for us. A precious momma that I met over the internet buried her sweet 4 year old boy this week, one of my good friends had her 2nd miscarriage and is heartbroken ...... on the complete opposite end of all of this, a precious lady, Cheryl, at our church got a miracle this week ...... the real thing!! Cheryl was dx with leukemia - she had so many things against her medically speaking .... the chemo gave her every side effect in the book and then some ..... she was so, so sick ....they had just gotten back from Houston where she had gone to learn what to do to get ready for a bone marrow transplant ..... a HUGE glitch is that so far they hadn't found the match they were hoping for ..... next thing we all know .... she is now in molecular remission ... this is very rare to have happen especially with looking at all of her medical issues .... they said this only happens in about 5% of the cases ...... truly a miracle and we give Him all the Glory!!! Cheryl and Bubba - we love you and we praise Jesus for this indescribable gift!!! If you get a chance, check out her site - you will be blessed!! www.cherylowen.wordpress.com
I had emotions of being in complete awe of our merciful God - our Healer, but at the same time had so many questions for Him ..... trying to understand all of this suffering ..... it is all such a mystery. As a nurse, I see mother's who come in with every drug you can think of in their body and yet give birth to a beautiful healthy baby ..... while my friend who would be such a wonderful Godly momma .... her arm's remain empty ..... some receive earthy healing .... others receive heavenly healing. I have always believed and give Him ALL the Glory that Ryan did so well during chemo .... no nausea or throwing up ..... I knew it was answered prayer .... yet in the middle of the night I would hear other children who were sick and I couldn't understand why they had to endure that if Ryan was being spared ..... as a momma .... I wanted them all to be spared .... the reality is that it is a mystery and it is gonna remain that way as long as we're here on this earth. When I start going down this road .... Rob always reminds me that rain falls on the just and the unjust ...... he always refers me to Job and all of his questioning ....

"Will you never look away from me, or let me alone even for an instant? If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of men? Why have you made me your target?" Job 7:19-20

I am pretty certain we have all felt this way before ..... God let's Job go on with his questions and is silent ..... Then, God finally answers .....

"Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man; I will question you and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid the cornerstone - while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy? " Job 38:2-7

"Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!" Job 40:2

Bottom line - God is God and He doesn't owe us any explanations - He created everything - it all belongs to Him. I love reading God's response because it reminds me that He is such a God of details - He is so very specific about everything in our lives - it brings me such great comfort to know that He never misses a thing. What He asks of us to be faithful no matter what comes our way.... that's not always easy. Now in situations like our truck going caput ..... that is easy for me to completely trust Him ...... but when it comes to life and death issues ...... it is and can be really, really hard .... we have to choose to completely trust Him .... usually over and over again we have to make that choice..... I can fluctuate between complete fear and doubt back to complete trust many times in one day (sometimes in one hour :)). My mind tells me that there is no better place but to be with Jesus - but my heart cries out feeling like the only place for these precious babies to be is in their momma's arms ........

"and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty for ashes, the oil of gladness, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor." Isaiah 61:3